Comparison is a necessary part of life that allows me to make everyday decisions. I use comparison to decide whether I would like to buy this or that, what things I prefer, if I want to go here or there, or what I would like to do. It is simply a tool I can use to answer the questions of what I would rather have or do, which is great when making choices and decisions about places and things. However, when it comes to people, comparison is something that is unhealthy and takes my focus off of Jesus and onto myself and others. When I look at what others and their life journeys, comparison threatens to rob me of my joy and peace, launches me into self-pity and/or self-righteousness and isolates me from the world around me.

When I think about comparing my life to others, my mind first goes to longing for something about someone else’s life. I personally struggle with looking at other people’s family relationships like their children, parents or their extended family. As I look at what I think I know about these relationships, I become discontent with my own, thinking they are not what I believe they ‘should’ be and can very easily begin to feel sorry for myself. Yet, I don’t know the truth of others’ relationships, only what they seem to be as a casual outside observer. I can also be known to compare the perceived ease of someone else’s life versus my own. However, the reality is that I have no idea what someone else goes through on a day to day basis or what they live with behind closed doors. Our human nature means we often wear masks to hide our true feelings and circumstances. I know people who compare themselves to other people’s stuff, money or time and again we only know what we see or think we believe, not the truth. In every single one of these cases of comparison to the perceived better than of someone else’s life, I have never once felt better, the only thing I gain is discontentment and/or self-pity for my own life.

In this same vein I can end up comparing myself to another person where I feel bad about who I am and what I do. I think they do a better job, are a better person, prettier, smarter or are more grateful than I am. When I compare in this way, I am discontent about myself which leaves me feeling I am not enough. This is not the truth of who God says I am or the value He places on my life. The other side of this coin is to think I am better or have more than another person. When in this position, instead of fueling discontent, I stroke my pride, ego, arrogance and self-righteousness. I look at another person and think I am better than them or my sins aren’t as bad as theirs. I play this dangerous game where I justify myself and my behavior based on other people’s lives. When I compare in this manner I try to make myself feel better about me. However, I rarely see my own life in appropriate measure to the only one whose life I can compare it to, which is Jesus. 

I think that when I start to compare, I begin to see life like a ladder where people are above me or below me. I see others and their lives as either better or worse, more than or less than, more than enough or not enough. Unfortunately, this measuring of people and their lives is so easy for me to do, yet it never leads to anything constructive. It is where the enemy plays with my deepest desires, my biggest fears, and my struggles with pride, insecurity and self-righteousness. I can fuel my ego with those I believe are below me on the ladder and despise myself because of what I think is true about those above me. The reality is that when I compare, I am looking at what I believe to be true about another, not what is true. God is the only one who knows the depths of our hearts and loves us the same. I am comparing my insides to another person’s outsides which is only based on what I see. I think instead, I will choose to see people and myself on level ground. We are all human and have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus to all who believe (Romans 3:22-24).

Practice For Today

When I start to compare my life to another person’s life, I will be aware that I can make the choice to stop comparing and instead be accepting and grateful. In these two actions, I can find and fuel my peace and joy. I can choose to find contentment where I am at because I know that I can trust the one who got me here. I know that it is only in acceptance of my life and where I am at that I can begin to grow and change and the best comparison will then be for me to see how far God has brought me and thus how much I have grown.

Philippians 4:11 NLT     Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.

Galatians 6:4 NIV     Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.