As I am learning to grow in my acceptance of everything I have often wondered why I seem to struggle so much with that concept.  While I am learning to accept many things in my life, I still often just want things to be exactly as I think they should be in my mind. Recently, my aha moment was the revelation that approval and acceptance are not the same thing.  I think that I have often thought that my acceptance of my circumstances meant I liked or wanted it; or acceptance of another person’s behavior meant that I was saying I was a-ok with whatever they were doing.  I guess with other people I thought it meant I was in agreement with them. To me acceptance felt like some sort of resignation, which I guess it is, and that’s ok because it isn’t a resignation of myself. I see now that this belief of approval and acceptance being the same, meant that I spent a lot of time being pent up about things that were outside of my control.  

As I think about approval, I realize that it is a very black and white concept and there is very little I can approve of in my life because most things in my life are out of my control. I can approve of my own choices: what I do with my feelings, if I react or respond and whether I allow others to impact me and how I feel. I don’t have the right to push what I approve and disapprove of on other people.  That is for each of us to decide in our own lives.

I am also learning about what acceptance is and what it is not.  Acceptance is really about being willing to let go of that control and it is a gift to myself. With my circumstances, this just looks like an awareness of things I can change and things that I can’t change. With others, everything is outside of my control, so I find that acceptance is really about loving someone right where they are at.  It is allowing others to be themselves and who they want to be. Without acceptance, I am unable to offer other people the dignity, respect, courtesy, mercy, grace, forgiveness and love that they deserve as a child of God and God asks me to offer them unconditionally. This is the same way He loves each one of us and as I am learning to grow in my acceptance I am growing in peace. 

Practice for Today

Today I will work on being aware that acceptance offers me contentment and freedom, as I don’t waste time and energy trying to change something that I do not have the power to change. I will choose to notice when I start to spin and fixate on something that is outside of my control and give it to God by writing it down and putting it in my God box. I do not have to approve of someone else’s behavior to accept it.  I can choose to accept them as they are and set boundaries for myself so I don’t accept unacceptable behavior towards me.

Romans 15:7 Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.