It is amazing to me the number of things that I do that I have been completely unaware of doing or why I do them.  Even things that are not necessarily helpful to me. One of those things is that I tend to be a stacker.  I have a tendency to make a giant wobbly tower of lots of little concerns, anxieties and worries which threaten to come crashing down.  I am usually not even aware that I am doing it.

I have learned to pay better attention to my body, as it usually gives me all the clues I need: my shoulders up by my ears, a tightness in my stomach, agitation at the smallest little thing, anger at people I love for no particular reason.  These are all signs that I need to go to God.

One day when I was feeling particularly pent up I started to say to my husband all of the things that were bothering me. As I heard myself telling him my long list, I was astonished.  I didn’t know how many things I was carrying: money for bills, my work schedule for next week, the increase in car insurance and health insurance, our phone plan, the weather.  The list went on and on.  Wow, it’s no wonder I was having a physical response.  

I knew then that I had to choose to hand it over to God; I could not carry all of those burdens. My awareness allowed me to see that I needed to choose something different.  Once I chose to put those things in God’s care, then I could allow Him to lead me in accepting the things I am powerless over and working through the things I could do, one at a time.  

Practice for today

When I start to notice that I am irritable or tense I know that my life has become unmanageable and that God is the only thing that can restore me to peace.  It is time for me to “Let go and let God.”  I find it helpful to write it down and put it in a “I can’t, but God can” container.  As I choose to give each thing to Him, I pray to let go of “what I can’t” and my pride; and I trust He will help me deal with the things I can.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.