Forgiveness and Letting Go

I once heard someone say that they realized they could forgive someone and still hold a resentment towards them. The way they knew was by how they talked to and treated the other person. That got me really thinking about myself and I realized that often I had forgiven an offense intellectually in my head, however, I was still holding on in my heart. I realized that the amount of airtime something gets in my mind or talking and joking about it is typically a good indicator of me holding a resentment. I never thought about this two part concept of forgiveness and letting go. But, I know that if I want the freedom Jesus offers me, I have to be willing to trust God enough to give Him those places in my heart and/or mind that are held by something someone else has done to me.

I know that I can trust giving those things to God because His word says that no matter what someone else does to us that He can use it for good. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers, tells them that what they meant for evil, God meant for good. God took their jealousy and intent to get rid of him and years later turned it into Joseph providing grain for many people during a famine, including his brothers and family. There are many things that happen in this life, including harm done by others, that the enemy intends for evil and to take me out, but praise God, He has a better plan.

In Romans 8:28, God’s word says that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. As I read this verse, there are a few things that stand out to me. One is the foundation of this verse, that God’s promise here applies to people who love Him. So as a follower of Christ, I know that all things can work together for good in my life. However, I have to be careful to remember that the verse tells me that all things will work together for good, not all things are good and how I perceive good and bad is usually what is good and bad for me. However, God’s version of that is that things are for His ultimate eternal good for me and often those things don’t necessarily feel good. I again need to trust God and that His plan for me is so much bigger and better than my plan for my life. My life is not my own, I have been bought with a price and I have a choice to surrender myself to His will and plan or go on my own.

The second part Romans 8:28 refers to this choice of being called according to his purpose. I have a choice as to whether or not I will be called according to His will or my own. What is God’s will and purpose for me? Well, in the most basic terms I am to put to death the flesh and live my life in the Spirit, so as to glorify God. What does this look like? Jesus says in Matthew 22 that I am to love God with all my heart, soul and mind and to love people as myself. I am instructed in 1 Thessalonians 5 to rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in every circumstance. I am to seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with my God (MIcah 6:8).  Also, I am to do as Jesus tells His disciples ‘how to pray’ in the Lord’s prayer: to forgive others as we have also been forgiven and lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil.

I think that the order Jesus said this in was on purpose because He knew that as humans one of the greatest places we are tempted to fall into evil is by not forgiving others and holding onto resentments.  As a Christian, I knew I was supposed to forgive people and I wanted to forgive because I had been forgiven. What I didn’t know was that often I forgave the person, but not the offense. I did not afford others the grace that had been given to me. Slowly over time, resentments started to pile up and a root of bitterness began to grow in me.  I thought that since I had ‘forgiven’ them I was good, but why did I feel so miserable, angry and filled with rage?

This is where I hit rock bottom and I knew that this could not be what God wanted for me! So, I began the slow journey of turning back to God. I began to accept my life as it was and acknowledge that it was out of control. I knew that God was the only thing that could give me joy and the peace that surpasses understanding.  With that, I began to make the continual choice to be called according to His purpose. That came through the daily choice of surrender by turning my will and my life over to Him, being willing to look at myself and my part, and offering myself to Him as a living sacrifice. I believe that this is what Jesus meant when He said that we are to die to ourselves and pick up our cross daily.

Through this, as I began to look at myself and my part, I started to see how many hard spots there were in my heart and how they consumed me. Over time, I am seeing the many places where I was bitter because I was holding onto unforgiveness or resentments. I realized how much time I spent living in the past and not for today. Slowly, one day at a time, as I am partnering with God; I am able to let go of resentments and offer forgiveness. I am beginning to see all of the things the enemy intended for evil and watching while God is restoring those things in my life one by one and using them for good. I am realizing that some of those times in my life have precipitated the most beautiful change in me and blessings I never saw possible. I find that I have much more love, peace and joy in my life now and it seems to be growing along with my gratitude. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I am grateful for the freedom I have found along the journey and that God’s not finished with me yet.

Practice for Today

Today I will remember that I have a choice to be called according to God’s purpose.  Will I partner with the enemy and allow him to use the hurts, bad circumstances, difficult seasons, and life challenges to be used for evil by holding on to unforgiveness and resentments and allowing the root of bitterness to grow? Or will I partner with God and allow all the parts of my life, what I perceive as good and bad, to be used for good by letting go and offering forgiveness, grace and love to glorify God?  Today I will choose to shine God’s light in a dark and broken world.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.