As I look at the scene of the last few days of Jesus’ life over 2000 years ago, I can’t help but think these disciples of His aren’t too bright. They have a front row seat to the last years of Jesus’ life, ministry, and miracles. He tells them exactly what will happen and they still are surprised and don’t understand when things play out exactly as He said they would. They pledge their lives to Him, say they love Him and yet they abandon Him in His time of need. Jesus knew that when He chose them to be His disciples. He knew that every person, including me, would struggle with our fears, doubts, faith, and understanding; and yet, He did the unthinkable. Jesus surrendered Himself to God’s will and chose to die for all of humanity knowing full well His heart and body would be broken for us. Why? One word, love. A reckless, amazing, audacious, unconditional, undeserving, crazy kind of love.

As I look at them and point the finger, I can’t help but notice that I am pointing 3 back at me. I try to picture myself being there with Jesus and while I’d like to think I would have stood up for Him in the mob at the trial; I’d likely be more like Peter who when confronted about being a disciple, denies even knowing Him. I do things I shouldn’t do and struggle to do what’s right. I make poor choices, turn my back on others, and am often not the person I long to be. I sin, no doubt part of the human condition that comes from the fall of humanity back in Genesis with Adam and Eve. But God had a plan of audacious love that meant He was willing to die while we were sinners(Romans 5:8). It’s one thing to die for a really good person, you know like Mother Theresa, and quite another to die for the undeserving criminal on the cross next to him or die for me. But that is exactly what Jesus chose to do. I really struggle to understand this kind of love. My love often comes at a cost; I have expectations of others and how they should express love to me. A lot of times, I am incapable of loving God and people the way I want them to love me. I guess it’s good that Jesus is not me, I guess that is what unconditional love looks like.

Unconditional love in and of itself is an amazing gift; but through the love of Jesus and His death, burial, resurrection, and ascension; I have been given a load of gifts far surpassing any Christmas morning. The moment He died we were able to have direct access to God. The moment we accept Him as our savior our sins are forgiven and our slate wiped clean, as He casts our sins as far as the East is from the West. We are redeemed(bought back), made righteous, reconciled(debt free) and being made into His likeness. In that moment, we are made new; a new creation that can live new because our old sinful self is dead. He chose to die so I could live; not just for all of eternity, but now. Finally, when He left this earth and ascended to heaven, He left the Holy Spirit as a helper that lives in every single believer and we are never alone. This Holy Spirit is the same power that rose Jesus from the grave and it lives in you and me to help us live the life God intended (Romans 8:11). He will never leave us or forsake us. In addition to all of this, we are offered grace and mercy when we don’t get it right. It is only a crazy kind of love that would give all of these gifts to a wretch like me.

Which is why His love is so amazing. But, in what I hate to say sounds like an infomercial, that’s not all. His reckless love not only offers all of this freely to us undeserving, but He even pursues us. When we don’t know Him, He affords us opportunities for us to meet Him. When we are lost, He will leave the others to find us and bring us back. It is not just that He was and is willing to do all of this for us, but that He wants to do it.  He wants us to draw near, forgive our sins, make us new, and be with us for all of eternity. He doesn’t have to, it is His pleasure. But as a kind and loving God, we must be willing to receive what He so freely offers. I must be willing to open my heart and mind to Jesus.

Today’s Reminder

As I look at the disciples I will see a reflection of myself and ask God to help me see myself rightly. I too struggle with my doubts and fears even though I already know the end of the story. I will remember that through Jesus I am offered direct access to God, freedom from death, new life through a slate wiped clean, and the Holy Spirit living inside me. I will also remember that I always have a choice to walk in what He freely offers me or go my own way. I will choose today to die to myself and pick up my cross because I know what God offers me is better. I will choose to remember with gratitude the depth of His love that made all of this possible.

John 3:16-17  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.