The first part of the serenity prayer, ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference,’ is always a great place for me to start when I am wanting change. I find that often I am longing for change in something outside of my control. This prayer asks for guidance from God to be able to discern what’s mine and what’s not, and the bravery to actually work on me. 

It is really hard work, but since I have started recovery and have some self-awareness, I know there are things in me that I really do want to change. I want to stop reacting and start responding, to think before I blurt stuff out of my mouth, to not be defensive when others point out things in me and to listen better.  While working on all these things is good,  I never really realized that accepting others and changing my perspective was probably the biggest and most influential thing I could do for myself and for those around me; especially the people I love most.

I never saw how much my desire to ‘help others’ had turned into a cancer of criticism.  I was constantly looking at others’ lives, thinking I knew what was best for them.  I devoted myself to teaching people and showing them what was wrong in their spiritual lives; after all, God gave me the gift of teaching.  I saw their defects and the things I thought they needed to work on; and the more I looked at those things, the bigger they seemed. 

I now know that no matter how I see things in another person’s life, I do not have the right to change them and trying only makes me miserable.  I can work on myself, I can change my outlook and expectations and I can ask God to help me accept others right where they are at and show me other people’s good qualities so my perspective of them is more loving.

Practice for today

Today I will practice finding and noticing good things in the people and the world around me.  I will be aware of how my perspective and positive outlook changes me and my attitude and how the more I focus on those good things, the better everything looks!  Today I will courageously work at noticing when my perspective is negative, hand those thoughts over and ask God to help me see it His way!

Phil 4:8  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.