As a Christian, I think prayer is something that I so often do and offer to others as a go to when I see people struggling and going through something. Sometimes I ask how I can be praying for them, other times I simply say that I will be praying and once in a while I’ll pray for that person right on the spot. I know my heart is in the right place and I have good intentions, yet I’ve wondered how it lands with other people. A couple weeks ago, my husband was talking to a friend who is going through a really hard time of grief and loss and when he told her that we would keep praying for her, she said she doesn’t believe it works. That comment really got me thinking about prayer. What is prayer, its purpose, how and when I pray, how others see prayer, their expectations when I say I will be praying for them and I guess ultimately what expectations I have of prayer.

As a child, I memorized prayers in my Sunday school classes and through the years I’ve learned other prayers that I never forget. Today my prayers may be one I could say without much thought, but often they are just me communicating with God and can vary quite a bit. Sometimes they are on my knees in reverence, other times they are just talking to God like a friend. Some days they are in anger or frustration, other days desperation. Often they are giving God gratitude or asking Him for guidance, wisdom and direction; as well as asking for forgiveness. Regularly they are me asking God to root out anything that is not of Him, and frequently they are for other people. There are prayers when I have lots of words and other ones as simple as ‘help me Jesus’. There are times when my prayers are spoken out loud, but mostly in my day to day they are spoken in my head. There are no special words and no specific times. I am just attempting to live out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 instructions of rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in every circumstance. In these verses, as well as others, I find it interesting that praying is listed with rejoicing and giving thanks. Perhaps my complaints and obsessive thoughts running around in my head, although God listens, feels my hurt and can handle them, are not exactly prayers that move mountains.

As I look to the Bible to find a foundation for prayer, I see a pattern of seeking God’s will. One place this is laid out in Matthew 6:9-10 where Jesus tells us how to pray. It starts with declaring God as a Holy Father in Heaven and then asks for God’s will to be done. As I look at those first two lines of The Lord’s Prayer, I see that a basis for prayer can be summed up in one word, humility. When I humble myself, I can come to Him acknowledging that He is God and I am not, and that His will is the goal of anything I bring to Him in prayer. I cannot honestly say that I have always prayed this way, otherwise I would have accepted it more when prayer hasn’t gone my way. I think this is the problem with my human heart, is that selfishly I often want my will to be done, which doesn’t always align with God’s will or timing. So as much as scripture tells me to present my requests to God, I cannot expect Him to answer my prayers as if He is a genie and I believe that prayer is more than asking God for what I want.

Prayer is a way of connecting and communicating with my creator. It’s talking to a friend and taking time to listen. It is really more about growing a relationship with God where I can learn to grow in trust, rather than telling Him for what I want. Perhaps this is where some struggle can come in as I ask others how I can be praying for them. If there have been times when I have seen prayer as rubbing the magic lamp for God to pop out as the genie and grant me my wishes, how much more may someone who doesn’t know Him or has no faith. I wonder if I have created a false expectation for some people when I have said I’ll be praying for you and how that changes if they are a believer or not. Not to say that I shouldn’t be praying for them, I believe I should be, however I think that maybe for non-believers, I just listen and love them in the moment. Then later in the quiet, I can offer them to God in prayer that He will meet them right where they are at. For fellow believers, I will continue to ask for prayer requests, submitting to the Lord that His will be done.

In thinking about all of this, I guess it has made me aware of how prayer is an incredible privilege that I have the ability to speak to my creator at any time and He is always available. I know that as I seek Him more in humility, that He will grow me through prayer for myself and others and I don’t even need to tell others I am praying for them. I can continue to come to the Lord honestly and grow my relationship with Him one day at a time. I know that the more I watch God work, accepting His will, my eyes are opened to see more and more how He answers my prayers, maybe not the way I expected but in ways that grow my faith if I allow them.

Practice for Today

Today as I talk to the Lord in prayer often throughout my day, I will work on growing my relationship with Him rather than seeking my will. I will also try to take time to quiet the noise in my mind and listen so I can receive His guidance, direction and hear His will for me. I will choose to humbly accept when things don’t go my way, knowing that God’s will is better anyway. I will be aware of not creating expectations for myself and others that God willI wave His magic wand and I will remember that I don’t always need to tell people when I am praying for them, I can just choose to do so as a blessing to me.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV     Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 John 5:14-15 NIV     This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us–whatever we ask–we know that we have what we asked of him.