Pride is such an insidious thing.  It seems that our human nature is so filled with pride that it takes awareness and often others showing us where we are prideful. This has been particularly difficult for me, as I really never saw myself as a prideful person, as I suppose most people do!  I think that is why the bible talks so much about pride and humility.

As I was sitting with a friend the other day, I was sharing about the ways I am learning to respond better and not reacting (more like overreacting) to people and situations around me.  As I was starting to share a particular story I said “You would be so proud of me.”  Then in my recovering people pleasing brain I realized wait a minute I don’t need her approval.  So, I shared that with her and then with all kinds of attitude and some sort of ridiculous celebratory arm pump I told her that “I am going to be proud of myself.” My friend just kindly said to me, what if instead you show gratitude to God since our pride isn’t good…It stopped me in my tracks.

God used my friend to show me where I was still holding onto pride and not looking to God in gratitude for what He had done!  Don’t get me wrong, I know that it has taken me stretching out my hand to God asking him for help, but the only reason I have any ability to transform and respond differently is because of His Spirit that is at work within me. As I look back in self awareness, I know this is true in my life; that I should be filled with awe and gratitude at all He has done within me and yet, I see that while sometimes I have given Him gratitude other times I haven’t really acknowledged God and I tend to take the credit myself.

When I take credit myself, I am not acknowledging Jesus in me. This is a problem because God is constant and the same yesterday, today and forever; while I am not. How I feel about myself changes daily, hourly or sometimes even minute by minute.  So while today I am proud of myself for responding differently, tomorrow I’ll be beating myself up for reacting again. My self-confidence is typically rooted in ‘my accomplishments’ and how I feel in that moment.  My friend told me that someone used to tell her ‘you’ll never rise above human’ and neither will I.  That is why I need to remember that God’s power is always in me and the more I give gratitude for what He has already done, the more I look to him and lean on Him in the future. The more I acknowledge what He has done, the more it helps to build my confidence and trust in God, the one constant in my life. 

Practice for Today

Today I will have self awareness for ways that I am different than I have been in the past and look for those as opportunities to be grateful to God for all He has done. I will write it down so I don’t forget and I will go back and remind myself of those things, to keep my eyes fixed on Him.

John 3:27 John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven.
1 Corinthians 4:7 For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?